I know how to drive a stick now.
I got forced to drive one so many times due to the rushes we've had that now I want one myself!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
OK, So...
By request of Yummi, I am reinstating this blog.
OK... lets start with yesterday.
Alright so I get this key up. Everybody gets all jealous because it's a Mercedes-Benz. Me being me, I really don't care because I usually get "stiffed" (Slang for receiving no tip) by their owners anyway. I checked the ticket, it said Mercedes R350... the color is black. I checked damages, the ticket says "Scratches All Over". I'm like Okay...
So I looked, there really were scratches and dents everywhere. The vehicle had all of 34000 ish miles on it. I'm like dang, my mom's 8 year old Kia is in better condition than this.
I noticed that the highbeams were on, since I believe in... ahem... considerate driving (Best way I can describe it now) I turned them off only to find out that the low beams didn't work. Go figure right? Then I looked at the instrument cluster error messages were as follows:
Low Tire Pressure [Might wanna get that fixed, a tire patch is $12]
Low Beam Left (Blown Bulb) [Are headlights really that expensive?]
Low Beam Right (Blown Bulb)
Low Fuel Level (Yup, no gas in the tank) [See below.]
Check Coolant Level [Well I do have to ask why this is low, it should not be with so little miles, but judging by looking at the rest of the vehicle, this isn't the first time the error message appeared and ignored]
We won't get started with the trash that was everywhere. (And I do mean everywhere.)
So I got up there, she hands me the claim check, and I'm like OK, as usual, no tip.
But she's digging in her purse, I'm like wow, really?
She gives me a raggedy dollar bill which looks older than me, then has the nerve to tell me that next time I should adjust the seats in people's cars.
Again, you asked one of us to drive your car.
HOW THE HECK DO YOU EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE WHO HAS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BODY TO DRIVE YOUR CAR IF THE SEAT HAS TO REMAIN IN THE SAME POSITION YOU LEFT IT IN?!?!!?
Take you, 5'4" and about oh 280lbs.
Take me, 5'10" and 210lbs.
Do you really expect me to drive with my knees touching the instrument panel? (The technically correct term for dashboard.)
I wanted to throw that dollar bill back in her face and tell her to put some gas in her tank.
Think about it.
If you've stumbled upon this...
Do *NOT* VALET YOUR CAR IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR SEAT TO BE MOVED. PLAIN AND SIMPLE!
OK... lets start with yesterday.
Alright so I get this key up. Everybody gets all jealous because it's a Mercedes-Benz. Me being me, I really don't care because I usually get "stiffed" (Slang for receiving no tip) by their owners anyway. I checked the ticket, it said Mercedes R350... the color is black. I checked damages, the ticket says "Scratches All Over". I'm like Okay...
So I looked, there really were scratches and dents everywhere. The vehicle had all of 34000 ish miles on it. I'm like dang, my mom's 8 year old Kia is in better condition than this.
I noticed that the highbeams were on, since I believe in... ahem... considerate driving (Best way I can describe it now) I turned them off only to find out that the low beams didn't work. Go figure right? Then I looked at the instrument cluster error messages were as follows:
Low Tire Pressure [Might wanna get that fixed, a tire patch is $12]
Low Beam Left (Blown Bulb) [Are headlights really that expensive?]
Low Beam Right (Blown Bulb)
Low Fuel Level (Yup, no gas in the tank) [See below.]
Check Coolant Level [Well I do have to ask why this is low, it should not be with so little miles, but judging by looking at the rest of the vehicle, this isn't the first time the error message appeared and ignored]
We won't get started with the trash that was everywhere. (And I do mean everywhere.)
So I got up there, she hands me the claim check, and I'm like OK, as usual, no tip.
But she's digging in her purse, I'm like wow, really?
She gives me a raggedy dollar bill which looks older than me, then has the nerve to tell me that next time I should adjust the seats in people's cars.
Again, you asked one of us to drive your car.
HOW THE HECK DO YOU EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE WHO HAS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BODY TO DRIVE YOUR CAR IF THE SEAT HAS TO REMAIN IN THE SAME POSITION YOU LEFT IT IN?!?!!?
Take you, 5'4" and about oh 280lbs.
Take me, 5'10" and 210lbs.
Do you really expect me to drive with my knees touching the instrument panel? (The technically correct term for dashboard.)
I wanted to throw that dollar bill back in her face and tell her to put some gas in her tank.
Think about it.
If you've stumbled upon this...
Do *NOT* VALET YOUR CAR IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR SEAT TO BE MOVED. PLAIN AND SIMPLE!
Friday, May 25, 2007
May 25, 2007
Day: Whenever, I lost track.
Tips: $20
Cars Driven: Lost track.
Awards:
Raggediest: 199X Plymouth Breeze. 2.0L, 5-Speed. Door either doesn’t open or doesn’t close. Needs engine and transmission mounts yesterday. Check engine light on. 175,000 miles. Parking brake does NOT work. Broken ignition cylinder. Scratches and dents everywhere. Car looks good from a distance.
Cleanest: 2007 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT. 313 Miles. That’s probably why it was so clean.
Smelliest: 2002 Jeep Liberty. 3.7L, 5-Speed. 250,000 miles, smelled of several day old McDonalds. Maybe a Fish Filet sandwich. Not a pleasant drive.
Most Expensive: Mercedes Benz R350.
Stories of the day:
The Breeze. This was quite an experience. I came to the port, when my supervisor asked if I could drive stick. I replied by shaking my hand and raising my shoulders. Supervisor says “Take it, go practice. You can’t hurt it.” That’s when I found out about the ignition cylinder and the lack of a parking brake and other crap. Took me a while to figure out how to start it properly. I learned all the quirks to this beater quickly. I could drive it every day if I had to! Oh yeah, and no tip. I got something on the back of my pants due to that car and I still haven’t figured out what that might be…
Volkswagen Passat: Um, dude, have you heard of a gas station? I know it’s expensive, but considering that it took me 30 seconds to turn over your engine, and it was running rougher than a ‘90s Ford Escort. After I gave him his car, he ran out of gas right next to the station. I saw him pushing it in when I got another car.
Honda Build Quality: 2005? Honda Accord. I got so sick and tired of the interior rattles, I slammed the door, which probably either:
1. Fixed the rattle
2. Created a new rattle
3. Caused something to fall apart.
Chevrolet Weedahoe – OK, a Tahoe. I know, I’m not funny, but it had about 3 frickin marijuana blunts sitting in a storage bin, next to a lighter. Somebody was and will continue to have some fun in here!
Man, a double axle F350 + a parking garage = don’t mix.
*Attention All Supervisors: Just because I was forced to take a stick does NOT mean I know exactly HOW to drive stick!!!!!!!!*
Tips: $20
Cars Driven: Lost track.
Awards:
Raggediest: 199X Plymouth Breeze. 2.0L, 5-Speed. Door either doesn’t open or doesn’t close. Needs engine and transmission mounts yesterday. Check engine light on. 175,000 miles. Parking brake does NOT work. Broken ignition cylinder. Scratches and dents everywhere. Car looks good from a distance.
Cleanest: 2007 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT. 313 Miles. That’s probably why it was so clean.
Smelliest: 2002 Jeep Liberty. 3.7L, 5-Speed. 250,000 miles, smelled of several day old McDonalds. Maybe a Fish Filet sandwich. Not a pleasant drive.
Most Expensive: Mercedes Benz R350.
Stories of the day:
The Breeze. This was quite an experience. I came to the port, when my supervisor asked if I could drive stick. I replied by shaking my hand and raising my shoulders. Supervisor says “Take it, go practice. You can’t hurt it.” That’s when I found out about the ignition cylinder and the lack of a parking brake and other crap. Took me a while to figure out how to start it properly. I learned all the quirks to this beater quickly. I could drive it every day if I had to! Oh yeah, and no tip. I got something on the back of my pants due to that car and I still haven’t figured out what that might be…
Volkswagen Passat: Um, dude, have you heard of a gas station? I know it’s expensive, but considering that it took me 30 seconds to turn over your engine, and it was running rougher than a ‘90s Ford Escort. After I gave him his car, he ran out of gas right next to the station. I saw him pushing it in when I got another car.
Honda Build Quality: 2005? Honda Accord. I got so sick and tired of the interior rattles, I slammed the door, which probably either:
1. Fixed the rattle
2. Created a new rattle
3. Caused something to fall apart.
Chevrolet Weedahoe – OK, a Tahoe. I know, I’m not funny, but it had about 3 frickin marijuana blunts sitting in a storage bin, next to a lighter. Somebody was and will continue to have some fun in here!
Man, a double axle F350 + a parking garage = don’t mix.
*Attention All Supervisors: Just because I was forced to take a stick does NOT mean I know exactly HOW to drive stick!!!!!!!!*
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Day 3: April 8, 2007
Nothing really raggedy today, but I had a few nasty cars.
# of Jeeps Driven: 2
# of Hours Worked: 7
# of DCX Stuff Driven: 7
$ of tips: $34.01 (Don't ask about the penny... Grr.)
Terrible Smell Award: 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee - Weed. Darn Jeep smelled just like he got done smoking a blunt / joint / pipe / whatever. Very annoying. It gave me a headache. No wonder nobody wanted to take it. It was so strong, I think I got a sort of contact high. Woo hoo! I'm floating.....
Runner Up: 200X Ford Taurus: Vomit. Oh my God, I wanted to throw up myself. No wonder she tipped me $4.
Raggediest Car Award: 200X Ford Taurus... yeah, the one that smelled like vomit. 138k on it, poor thing's been abused. I'm pretty sure it's paid for. Misaligned door, trunk wouldn't close, wiring screwed up inside, I turned the lights on, the turn signal indicators illuminated... INSIDE ONLY! If you activated the turn signal, the signals activated as normal.... NO DASH BACKLIGHTING. Rust on the front driver's side fender.
Car With The Most Miles: 199X? Honda Accord. 153k, and showing it. Owner was a very.... trash-liking individual. Dashboard covered in crap, I could go on and on.
Nastiest Car: 2005 Honda Accord. 77k miles, and dirt stains everywhere. Again, old fast food. I don't want to look at that... weird indescribable smell....
Cleanest Car: HA HA HA HA HA!!! Oh wait, never mind. 2007 Chevrolet Cobalt. Rental Car. Not a spot anywhere that I could find.
Runner Up: 2007 Ford Escape. Rental Car. Even smelled new.... but let's get to the next one
Roughest "Ride" Award: 2007 Ford Escape. You think these Jeeps ride hard? Man, drive one of these. I felt darn near every bump in existence on that harsh Detroit road. No power. I don't like feeling engines. The Escape's engine was downright harsh on my hands and feet. Typically engines smoothen after they're revved up and are no longer idling. OH NO, NOT THIS THING, I felt vibrations in the steering wheel and gas pedal! I NEVER want to drive another one of these ever again!!!
Most Expensive Car Award: 2007 Mercedes Benz S550. I'll sum it up with a smiley.
Most Boring, Uninspiring Car Award: Volvo S40. Yawn..............
Most Exciting Car Award: Chrysler 300C SRT-8. Averaging 15.8MPG, but who cares... HEMI!!!!!!!!!!
Biggest Disappointment Award: Hyundai Tiburon. Sports car? Heck no... and no headroom at all! I'm only 5' 10" but my head was hitting the ceiling every chance it could. Rough Engine, slow. "Sports car" my rear end.
Biggest Surprise Award: Chrysler Aspen. Sweet interior. Hemi power! (Although not as fun as the 300C SRT-8) Came straight from Auburn Hills. Test equipment and all, stuffed in the back next to the baby seat. I have no clue what they were doing down here. Makes me wonder what a DaimlerChrysler employee was doing at General Motors headquarters...
"Flipside" Award: Hummer H3. I say flipside because Hummer vs. Jeep. felt huge of course... and it is, yet with no interior space... uh, no comment on it.... because...well... it was rather uninspiring and slow. Waste of money IMO.
The others I didn't mention, some are left off of this list simply because I forgot to write them down:
Chrysler 300 (Base model, 2.7L V6)
Toyota Camry x2
Nissan Maxima
Cadillac DTS
Cadillac Deville
Chrysler Pacifica x2
Pontiac Grand Prix
Land Rover LR3
Honda CR-V (Also uninspiring)
Jeep Commander
Ford Explorer
Dodge Magnum
Ford Fusion
Chevrolet Suburban
Honda Accord x2
See you next time I gotta go to work!
# of Jeeps Driven: 2
# of Hours Worked: 7
# of DCX Stuff Driven: 7
$ of tips: $34.01 (Don't ask about the penny... Grr.)
Terrible Smell Award: 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee - Weed. Darn Jeep smelled just like he got done smoking a blunt / joint / pipe / whatever. Very annoying. It gave me a headache. No wonder nobody wanted to take it. It was so strong, I think I got a sort of contact high. Woo hoo! I'm floating.....
Runner Up: 200X Ford Taurus: Vomit. Oh my God, I wanted to throw up myself. No wonder she tipped me $4.
Raggediest Car Award: 200X Ford Taurus... yeah, the one that smelled like vomit. 138k on it, poor thing's been abused. I'm pretty sure it's paid for. Misaligned door, trunk wouldn't close, wiring screwed up inside, I turned the lights on, the turn signal indicators illuminated... INSIDE ONLY! If you activated the turn signal, the signals activated as normal.... NO DASH BACKLIGHTING. Rust on the front driver's side fender.
Car With The Most Miles: 199X? Honda Accord. 153k, and showing it. Owner was a very.... trash-liking individual. Dashboard covered in crap, I could go on and on.
Nastiest Car: 2005 Honda Accord. 77k miles, and dirt stains everywhere. Again, old fast food. I don't want to look at that... weird indescribable smell....
Cleanest Car: HA HA HA HA HA!!! Oh wait, never mind. 2007 Chevrolet Cobalt. Rental Car. Not a spot anywhere that I could find.
Runner Up: 2007 Ford Escape. Rental Car. Even smelled new.... but let's get to the next one
Roughest "Ride" Award: 2007 Ford Escape. You think these Jeeps ride hard? Man, drive one of these. I felt darn near every bump in existence on that harsh Detroit road. No power. I don't like feeling engines. The Escape's engine was downright harsh on my hands and feet. Typically engines smoothen after they're revved up and are no longer idling. OH NO, NOT THIS THING, I felt vibrations in the steering wheel and gas pedal! I NEVER want to drive another one of these ever again!!!
Most Expensive Car Award: 2007 Mercedes Benz S550. I'll sum it up with a smiley.
Most Boring, Uninspiring Car Award: Volvo S40. Yawn..............
Most Exciting Car Award: Chrysler 300C SRT-8. Averaging 15.8MPG, but who cares... HEMI!!!!!!!!!!
Biggest Disappointment Award: Hyundai Tiburon. Sports car? Heck no... and no headroom at all! I'm only 5' 10" but my head was hitting the ceiling every chance it could. Rough Engine, slow. "Sports car" my rear end.
Biggest Surprise Award: Chrysler Aspen. Sweet interior. Hemi power! (Although not as fun as the 300C SRT-8) Came straight from Auburn Hills. Test equipment and all, stuffed in the back next to the baby seat. I have no clue what they were doing down here. Makes me wonder what a DaimlerChrysler employee was doing at General Motors headquarters...
"Flipside" Award: Hummer H3. I say flipside because Hummer vs. Jeep. felt huge of course... and it is, yet with no interior space... uh, no comment on it.... because...well... it was rather uninspiring and slow. Waste of money IMO.
The others I didn't mention, some are left off of this list simply because I forgot to write them down:
Chrysler 300 (Base model, 2.7L V6)
Toyota Camry x2
Nissan Maxima
Cadillac DTS
Cadillac Deville
Chrysler Pacifica x2
Pontiac Grand Prix
Land Rover LR3
Honda CR-V (Also uninspiring)
Jeep Commander
Ford Explorer
Dodge Magnum
Ford Fusion
Chevrolet Suburban
Honda Accord x2
See you next time I gotta go to work!
Day 2: April 6, 2007
Hours Worked: 9
Tips: $8 (Oh well... will try harder later)
# Of Jeeps Driven: 2
MUCH busier than yesterday... I can't remember how many cars I drove. I'll try to post some of them in categories...
1. Multiple Cars : Mercedes S500. 2 of them.
2. Car with the most miles: Pontiac Grand Prix GTP Supercharged, 213k.
3. Crappiest Car: 1996 Dodge Grand Caravan - 165k, airbag light, check engine light, brake light, no seats in rear, no tailgate interior panel, rattled like there was no tomorrow, engine knock. last oil change (according to sticker), 140k.
Runner Up: 199X Ford Taurus - airbag deployed and folded back in, which results in an airbag light, check engine light, interior stained and worn to h-e- double hockeysticks. 124k. Reeked of marijuana smoke. Front end shake. The car required starting instructions.
Second Runner Up: 2002 Kia Sedona. Again, heavily worn, with the worst front end vibration I've ever felt in my life. 65k miles.
Third Runner Up: 2001 Chrysler Voyager - broken headlight, driver's side window would not go back up, needs immediate detailing.
4. Surprise of the Day: 2006 Cadillac CTS. Wow...... for a car, that's the best one I drove all day, other than the 2 MBs. Wonder if I could trade my Jee.... j/k.
Runner Up: 2006 Kia Optima. I was very surprised at how well built it was! I couldn't believe it.... blew me away. Nice interior, and very Toyota like..... does Kia finally have their act together? Who knows... I'll be the judge at 60k miles.
5. Biggest Disappointment: 2003 or so Honda Accord - No tip!!!!!!! And when I started it up, after it took forever... I felt.... ENGINE VIBRATIONS! Those car magazines make it seem like Hondas are so REFINED! I expected perfection... as the cars are according to them...well... I didn't appreciate that very much. My engine was smoother...
6. Biggest Vehicle of the Day: Ford Expedition EL. BTW: I could drive that every day if I had to. Nice interior and turning radius. You won't believe it, but I actually liked it..... it was the newer model, a 2007 I guess. Drool........
7. The LOL (person) of the day: This hippie woman in a '07 Jeep Liberty. Oh my god she was hilarious, and her Jeep had peace signs all over it, along with some hawaiian accents, and a "Pineapple" air freshener.
8. The LOL (vehicle) of the day: Honda Ridgeline. Yes, Honda's LAME attempt at a pickup truck. Enough said...
9. Most liked of the day: The Expedition and the MB S500.
10. Most hated of the day: 1992? Pontiac TransSport. Horrific visibility and 2005 Chevrolet Monte Carlo. Again, weed smell...... and cranberry juice mixed with vodka.
After today, NOW I see why companies drug test employees....
And.. would it kill these people to get their cars occasionally detailed/cleaned? The crap that I've touched today has been ridiculous! I'm glad some people appreciate their cars... but ugh, there's no way I should be staring at 2 day old Taco Bell.
Tips: $8 (Oh well... will try harder later)
# Of Jeeps Driven: 2
MUCH busier than yesterday... I can't remember how many cars I drove. I'll try to post some of them in categories...
1. Multiple Cars : Mercedes S500. 2 of them.
2. Car with the most miles: Pontiac Grand Prix GTP Supercharged, 213k.
3. Crappiest Car: 1996 Dodge Grand Caravan - 165k, airbag light, check engine light, brake light, no seats in rear, no tailgate interior panel, rattled like there was no tomorrow, engine knock. last oil change (according to sticker), 140k.
Runner Up: 199X Ford Taurus - airbag deployed and folded back in, which results in an airbag light, check engine light, interior stained and worn to h-e- double hockeysticks. 124k. Reeked of marijuana smoke. Front end shake. The car required starting instructions.
Second Runner Up: 2002 Kia Sedona. Again, heavily worn, with the worst front end vibration I've ever felt in my life. 65k miles.
Third Runner Up: 2001 Chrysler Voyager - broken headlight, driver's side window would not go back up, needs immediate detailing.
4. Surprise of the Day: 2006 Cadillac CTS. Wow...... for a car, that's the best one I drove all day, other than the 2 MBs. Wonder if I could trade my Jee.... j/k.
Runner Up: 2006 Kia Optima. I was very surprised at how well built it was! I couldn't believe it.... blew me away. Nice interior, and very Toyota like..... does Kia finally have their act together? Who knows... I'll be the judge at 60k miles.
5. Biggest Disappointment: 2003 or so Honda Accord - No tip!!!!!!! And when I started it up, after it took forever... I felt.... ENGINE VIBRATIONS! Those car magazines make it seem like Hondas are so REFINED! I expected perfection... as the cars are according to them...well... I didn't appreciate that very much. My engine was smoother...
6. Biggest Vehicle of the Day: Ford Expedition EL. BTW: I could drive that every day if I had to. Nice interior and turning radius. You won't believe it, but I actually liked it..... it was the newer model, a 2007 I guess. Drool........
7. The LOL (person) of the day: This hippie woman in a '07 Jeep Liberty. Oh my god she was hilarious, and her Jeep had peace signs all over it, along with some hawaiian accents, and a "Pineapple" air freshener.
8. The LOL (vehicle) of the day: Honda Ridgeline. Yes, Honda's LAME attempt at a pickup truck. Enough said...
9. Most liked of the day: The Expedition and the MB S500.
10. Most hated of the day: 1992? Pontiac TransSport. Horrific visibility and 2005 Chevrolet Monte Carlo. Again, weed smell...... and cranberry juice mixed with vodka.
After today, NOW I see why companies drug test employees....
And.. would it kill these people to get their cars occasionally detailed/cleaned? The crap that I've touched today has been ridiculous! I'm glad some people appreciate their cars... but ugh, there's no way I should be staring at 2 day old Taco Bell.
Day 1: April 5, 2007
Well this was interesting. Got there at 2:30PM, and worked until 10:08. Met some interesting people, I think I even caught a glimpse of Bob Lutz, CEO of General Motors. But let's get to the point here: The cars!
I didn't drive much today as I'm just training... but... here's what I drove:
1. Toyota 4Runner
2. Toyota Sequoia
3. Nissan Sentra
4. Jeep Cherokee
5. Lexus LS400
6. Ford F-150
7. Lexus ES330
8. BMW 540i
9. Ford 500
Both of Toyotas were overrated. Nissan cool, but meh. No offense to the people who like Jeep Cherokees, but... uh... I did not like driving that Jeep at all. I had to duck into it (as opposed to climbing into the Liberty, which I prefer). The ES330 was nice, but also overrated. I liked the soft touch surfaces. The LS400 was like 10 years old with 200k miles on it, and well worn out. BMW needed a new owner, NO BMW SHOULD BE MISSING A REAR BUMPER!!!! The F-150 was the newer generation, it was actually once of the swimming coaches at my school so that was interesting to say the least. I can't figure it out, but there's something about that truck that I also didn't like. Cool as heck to drive though... the height can't be beat. Oh, and I now know why people liked the 4.0L engine... yeah, NOW I know the definition of low-end torque. I pushed the gas like I would in the Liberty. HUGE MISTAKE. The CVT of the Ford 500 was an interesting experience. Weird not feeling a transmission shift.
All in all, the best vehicle that I drove today... was this sweet 2006 Jeep Liberty Sport. \
/ (That happens to belong to me...)
I have to work tomorrow, I'll give you another update.
I didn't drive much today as I'm just training... but... here's what I drove:
1. Toyota 4Runner
2. Toyota Sequoia
3. Nissan Sentra
4. Jeep Cherokee
5. Lexus LS400
6. Ford F-150
7. Lexus ES330
8. BMW 540i
9. Ford 500
Both of Toyotas were overrated. Nissan cool, but meh. No offense to the people who like Jeep Cherokees, but... uh... I did not like driving that Jeep at all. I had to duck into it (as opposed to climbing into the Liberty, which I prefer). The ES330 was nice, but also overrated. I liked the soft touch surfaces. The LS400 was like 10 years old with 200k miles on it, and well worn out. BMW needed a new owner, NO BMW SHOULD BE MISSING A REAR BUMPER!!!! The F-150 was the newer generation, it was actually once of the swimming coaches at my school so that was interesting to say the least. I can't figure it out, but there's something about that truck that I also didn't like. Cool as heck to drive though... the height can't be beat. Oh, and I now know why people liked the 4.0L engine... yeah, NOW I know the definition of low-end torque. I pushed the gas like I would in the Liberty. HUGE MISTAKE.
The CVT of the Ford 500 was an interesting experience. Weird not feeling a transmission shift.All in all, the best vehicle that I drove today... was this sweet 2006 Jeep Liberty Sport. \
/ (That happens to belong to me...)I have to work tomorrow, I'll give you another update.
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